Friday, November 7, 2008

You are an animal

OK, so I hate psychology majors. I had a girlfriend (ex) who would get mad at me for crossing my arms because I was hiding my "feelings". So the next time we argued I held my arms up in the air like a baboon. She didn't see the humor in it and now I'm stuck with a $400 cell phone bill. Long story short, don't date anyone with relatives in Indonesia.

OK, back to psychology. The other day my friend Archie told me of an interesting psychological assessment that is taught in Sales training. I like to call it the "You are an animal' method or YAAA! The gist is that you can categorize customers into 4 different "animal" categories and then sell to their weaknesses. Bring on the freaks!

Whale: You love the environment, trees, hugging, the color green, pickets, signs, bugs (roaches esp.), reggae music
Dolphin: You love fun, drinking, excess, instant gratification, different people's beds, red bull, Foo Fighters
Shark: You love stepping on heads/toes, ladders, shoulder pads, monkey suits, the tin man, backs, stabbing, falafel, classic rock
Sea Urchin: You love family, living at home until you're married, lumpia,, the 40 year old virgin, lumpia, clock radios, Rush and/or Morrissey

Let's say you're trying to sell a condo using the YAAA method, here's the angle you'd use for each customer:

Whale: "Hey brosef, you'd totally love this condo, the wood is made with non-hydrogenated oils and the workers were allowed to roam free in fields on their lunch break"
Dolphin: "Dude, this condo seriously rocks, you can have so many parties here. There's even a room designated just for a keg (bathtub)."
Shark: "This condo will be a great investment for your future. The only problem is that more successful people are also trying to buy this house. Are you OK with that?"
Sea Urchin: "My friend, this condo is a perfect fit for you and your family. We have wheelchair access ramps and insulated walls so no one will be able to hear what you're doing in your room."

What kind of animal are you?


courtney said...

yeah my ex was from there not a good idea. and i dont think that i am an animal.

El Di Pablo said...

Wife = Psych Major :-(

I used to think I was a Shark, but I guess I lean more towards Dolphin. Anybody got a Red Bull?